We tend to believe that the majority of our opposition comes from those around us. A grumpy husband, a domineering boss, a reckless driver. But we rarely admit the truth: we are often our own worst adversaries. Here are a few strategies you can use to overcome self-defeating behavior.
1. Let go of the notion of having to win.
It’s good to be victorious, but you don’t have to be victorious all the time. Your desire to win at any cost can lead you to make poor decisions, squander resources unnecessarily, and act recklessly. On the other hand, sometimes it may be better to concede defeat and learn a lesson.
2. Don’t try to please everybody.
It is impossible to please everyone all of the time. One of the biggest contributors to self-defeating behavior is rushing around and trying to make everyone else happy. If you find yourself trying to please everyone all the time, whether at work or in your personal relationships, you’re setting yourself up to have a negative impact on your health and well-being.
3. Recognize and embrace your imperfections.
If you pursue perfection, you will never be satisfied. Can you imagine a great artist like Leonardo da Vinci relentlessly, endlessly repainting what many consider the world’s most famous painting, the “Mona Lisa”, for years and years because the final product wasn’t precisely what he had envisioned? Da Vinci did not let his pursuit of perfectionism stop him from completing his world famous work of art! Imperfection is a natural part of being human, and most of the time, you’re the only one who notices your flaws.
4. Get rid of bad behaviors.
Most people nowadays have harmful habits related to technology, such as continuously checking our email or social media accounts. Examine how you spend your time. Make a careful track of the minutes and hours to see how much time you’re squandering on various activities.
5. Overcome your fear.
Most people are held back by fear when it comes to living a life with a higher purpose. You can’t fly unless you jump, and you can’t jump unless you’re terrified. Fear does not have to be a direct feeling of apprehension. It could be masked as laziness or avoidance.
6. Get out of your own way.
Everybody, even the lone wolf, needs help at some point. Give yourself permission to ask for help when you’re struggling, because a rigid, self-imposed sense of independence may be doing more harm than good to your health. Make friends, accept help, and request help when needed, whether in business or in personal life.
7. Let go of the guilt.
Allow yourself to enjoy life, even if your history has been a stumbling block. People change and evolve, so don’t let your past define you. Most of us have been trained to believe that we must work away for someone else and just enjoy ourselves on weekends, but you can break free from this thinking prison.